Crappy beginnings

Okay I have to face it. The only good thing that has happened today was reaching level 500 in Alchemy and getting my new alchemist stone. My writing sucks even more then usual today, I feel tired even with sleep, and there doesn't seem to be much to look forward to today. This is one of those "lay down and die" days.

I feel like I have to write. Writing is my passion. And if I don't write something good I'm talentless. I'm literally good at nothing else. And if this turns out to be a dud then what can I do? Everyone's good at something, right? If this isn't it, what is?

Wow! THAT happened!

Wow, I never thought I'd have a nightmare so vivid and so scary that it would actually keep me up. 5:26 AM at this very moment and everything's dark. I don't hear any weird sounds or anything but wow... What an intense nightmare. For those who see this and wonder what it was I can't really explain it and I can't even remember it all. All I could remember was the feeling of dread. A feeling that kept me awake.

Of course I was happy to wake up and see two young ladies in bed with me, Serra and Cindi. Both are dogs of course. They sleep at my bedside every night and keep me safe. So today, a little thanks to both pups for keeping me warm at night! Yay, pups! Any of you have dogs who do the same? Sure is nice, huh?

Here's another kick in the rear... I got up and went on the computer to play WoW and see if I could shake these horrid feelings. Turns out the servers are shutting down for THREE HOURS! What timing, huh? I wanted to work on my writing originally but with my girlfriend/editor asleep I'd just end up getting frustrated. Oh! On that note, I finished the chapter I was working on for those who actually read the fanfic. I'll have it posted soon after some extensive editing. I am also gathering ideas for my main project, a lot of great things have been coming to me lately. Hopefully I'll be able to get that together and publish it sometime. It's already 12 chapters in so I have  a long way to go but not too bad. Not sure if any of you know this but I have something I like to call "Chapter Four Curse". Its when I write a story all the way up to chapter four and suddenly scrap the project. If anything goes beyond chapter four, for me anyway, it must be good.

Well one last thought tonight... Want to know how I suck at Starcraft? Today I decided to try my hand at fighting the PC on Hard for the first time (up from Normal). Got killed by a marine/mara attack... Ouch. My first loss to the PC. In my defense I am still half a sleep so it was all very foggy. But still... Shameful.

Anyway, I'm going to put down some ideas. God Bless you all an I pray you all have a great day, be you just waking up and snuggled in your beds I just pray you're all going to have the greatest of days. God Bless.

Oh what World...

I guess it had to happen sometime... I'm returning to Azeroth! Well, my girlfriend is anyway. I'm reactivating my account so she could play. I think it'll be pretty exciting being able to play again myself but I worry that I might get sucked into that world again. Only time will tell. I tried playing the "Free to Level 20" thing and I was pretty impressed with all the changes. I'm still waiting for Blizz to lift my Authentication since I lost the darn thing and once they do I'll give it a try to see how things go. A lot has changed since I stopped playing. I moved to California for one thing and I've been a lot more serious about my writing. I've made lots of friends who I hang out with on weekends. I guess I just hope not to become obsessed with the game again and if I do start to see that I am, to have the strength to stop.



In other news, I've been playing a lot more Starcraft II! I have insurance! For mental stuff! I keep listening to Puttin on the Ritz! And I got to watch Young Frankenstein! Even with my anxiety disorder I thank God for all the great things in my life like my love Alexandra and a loving family back in NY who sacrifices much to see me get better. I have to say, things could be worse. And I thank God they are not.

On one last note, if you're into poetry, Alexandra has a blog devoted to poetry. As I mentioned in previous posts, I don't know if she will post any personal thoughts, or just poetry. All that I know is that she is an excellent writer if not a little shy. Please check out her Blog page here. Its a real treat! http://www.blogger.com/profile/02138088586435142303

Well that's all for now! Time to do some cleaning and writing! Chapter two isn't going to write itself!... Yet...

God Bless you all. 

Just some thoughts!

Just putting some random thoughts down today. I got to chat with Henry, an awesome friend and brother to me. It's been months since we actually chatted and truthfully it was a lot of fun. I miss him just as much as I miss my family because to me he is family. If you ever read this, I hope you know I'm praying for you, dude. No matter what you're doing, you'll always be family to me.

Look at me, getting all emotional. Also on my mind, I resubmitted my fanfic in hopes that the improvements will get me on the site. Even if it isn't good enough I still plan to continue writing the story. Who knows? Maybe more chapters is just what it needs. I want to give a special thanks to my love, Alexandra Carrillo for her editing. She's always there to help me with my story and she's always honest. If something is crap she'll let me know! Of course in a nice way. Her editing was awesome. I hardly recognized my own story! With my grammar and spelling errors it might as well have been in a different language. Thank you again, sweetie! I love you!

Anyway, that's all for today. God Bless you all.

Dear Celestia?

No, I'm not doing a Twilight Sparkle letter! But I did learn something today. As I said in my first post, I'm hyper critical about everything I do, most of all, writing. Posted my first story on Fanfiction.net not too long ago and sent it to another site to see if they would accept it. Due to minor issues, they did not. I took it to heart at first, but reading more into it (as in my girlfriend explaining it to me!) I saw that it wasn't such a bad review, just constructive criticism. So I'll be making some changes :)